Happy Married Life: The Best Time to Get Married
The first thing to do when planning your wedding is to set your wedding date. It is an exciting project, but be ready to be challenged. Deciding the best feasible wedding date sounds easier than it is. Before making your decision, there are many actions and important dates to take into consideration. The day you get married will be determined by certain factors such as availability of venue, school schedules, holidays, who can be there, and many more.
Table of Content
2.0. The best time to get married
3.0. Simple steps can create a solid marriage
3.7. Be approachable
4.0. Seven marriage spice ups
4.1. Stop complaint
4.2. Spend time with each other
4.3. Find a special place to relax
4.6. Pay attention
5.0. The basic secrets of happy married life
6.0. Six repair tools for your marriage
6.2. Confide feeling
6.3. Acknowledge your partner’s point of view
6.4. Accept some of the responsibilities for the quarrel
6.5. Find common ground
6.6. Commit to improving behavior
Relatively, there are 12-15 months between the time of engagement and the wedding day. Since there are so many parts for the preparation of a successful wedding, one year may not be enough time for most people. Before fixing your date for the special day, you should consider the scheduled time of everyone relevant to you.
If you want the most significant people in your life to be present at your wedding, you should consider their schedule. These following events may prevent people important to you from attending your wedding day: graduation ceremony, birthdays, business assignment, vacations etc.
There are a lot of challenges when one gets married in a certain period of the year. It is not only more difficult to find a suitable venue but the prices are generally higher too. Therefore be ready to pay more for a reception venue, photography services, flowers, video man services, etc. Apart from hiring costs, you should consider the challenges based on availability. Your dream venue may not be available on your special date, so don’t fall in love with a location until you have secured it for your date.
October through December is among the busiest months for weddings. If possible, it is better to get married in one of the off months. January through September gives you more chances to choose reception venues. In addition to having more choices, you will be in a much better position to settle for a better price. During the slower months, you are sure of getting better service since more vendors are contending for your business.
If you are planning to get married on a Saturday, be ready to vie with many other brides for the same venues and services. Saturday is the most suitable day for your invitees, but it means you ought to deal with scheduling challenges and higher costs. Research shows that Fridays and Sundays are the next best days and more suitable than any other days.
Every wedding date has its own challenges, and there are in no doubt to be pros and cons to any possible date. Your challenge is to think about the best possible wedding date based on your requirements and desires.
Simple Steps Can Create A Solid Marriage
There are some complicated issues that normally arise in marriages. Few issues are simple.
There are, nonetheless some very easy ways to keep your relationship positive and help you work your way through many difficult situations.
Use these 7 guidelines to help you continue to develop a positive relationship.
1. If you want your marriage strong and positive, you ought to really want to keep it that way. You must decide that marriage is important in your life and give it the time and thought it needs. Ask yourself every day, am I spending sufficient time and energy on the relationship?
2. Concentrate on what you like and love about your partner. Forget the negatives. We really do get more of what we concentrate on. If you are having problems, start focusing on the good side of your relationship and not the bad side.
Most importantly, stop when you start passing judgment on your spouse. Turn your thoughts to what you like about them and start to see how your marriage gets better.
3. Kindness matters in marriages. Be kind. Typically, people in relationships treat the people closest to them worse than they treat acquaintances or even total strangers.
Go the extra step first. This week, do something kind for your partner that you wouldn’t usually do and without expecting anything in return.
4. Show gratitude for your partner. Make a habit of expressing thankfulness. If you do, you’ll find your marriage to be filled with much more joy and happiness.
5. Ask for what you want. Many people want people who are in a relationship with them to be psychics. If you want others to be mind readers, you’re in for a hurting ride if you’re in a relationship with them. If you want to achieve your desires, you have to let people know what your needs are.
6. Listen without getting defensive. Remember that someone’s opinion is important as yours. For the fact that their way is different, doesn’t make them or you wrong. If you’re always judging, being defensive and building walls, you’re not open to possibilities and to the love that is possible between both people.
7. Prepare to risk opening your heart and letting your spouse in. We can be in a relationship for many years and still not allow the other person to break in our walls of protection. If you want to have a marriage that is living and growing, being ready to risk is a must.
While the above guidelines will not resolve every issue they do lay the foundation for a strong and healthy relationship.
Seven Marriage Spice Ups
Ask the Marriage counselor: Seven Marriage Spice Ups
Questions and Answers on Seven Marriage Spice Ups
Q. My marriage is getting boring. My husband and I are passing through a low point where everything appears to be pretty dull. What are the things that we can do to enliven our marriage?
A. In the first place know that every marriage passes through high and low points. You guys are just in a normal part of the cycle. Having said this, here are a few tips to make your marriage a little more interesting and to have a happy married life.
1) Stop complaining about the situation of your relationship. Make an action plan for change and note it down. It is acceptable if you’re the only one ready to spice things up at first. As time goes on you’ll discover that your spouse will be open to the changes you’ve made, particularly if you don’t mention your changes or nag your spouse about changing.
2) It is advisable to turn off the Television or radio at least 30-45 minutes a day and spend time with each other. No distraction, this tip will also contribute to a happy married life.
3) Date each other as if you were about to get married. Dress up, wear makeup, perfume. Recreate your early years. Find an ideal place to meet and act as if you’re meeting for the first time or have your spouse pick you up from work or home. The whole idea is to go all out.
4) Do pleasant things for each other. Completing household tasks around the house which your partner hates doing is a great place to begin.
5) Make sure to have a second honeymoon at least once a year. Any time from four days to three weeks is good. Even though you can’t get away, you can create heaven at home. Make work take a back seat, and get someone to watch the children (and even your pets). The purpose is to spend your concentrate on each other for a few days.
6) Ensure you say the things you want to say to your other half today and do the things you want to do for your partner today. Don’t restrain a good word or a good deed when you recognize it can do wonder for your relationship.
7) Pay attention to yourself. This tip is perhaps the most important. Ensure that your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical batteries are charged. If you decide to spend some time doing time off, visiting with some friends, or pampering yourself, do it! Provided that your time is in moderation, you’ll feel a lot better, and your relationship will reflect it.
The Basic Secrets of Happy Married Life.
I hope you still remember the day you were together with your husband or wife vow in front of the altar that you will be keeping your marriage promises? ‘’ in sorrow and in joy, in good health and in bad health, for better or for worse, and until death do us apart” Good for both of you if you still keep that scared vows you made when you were married. Regrettably, there are couples who decided to be filing divorces for different reasons.
Why there are many couples making separate ways after they had taken that marriage vows? There are many reasons to mention, but the major one is the lack of trust and loss of love for one another. All the problems are deep-rooted from this reason. How will you love your spouse if you do not trust him/her? It is possible to trust your partner when you do not trust him or her? These two questions will lead you to a very serious question. How will I make our marriage happy and long-lasting?
That is a common question for every couple. Before marriage, they are closely asking the same question. But this time, it is really serious. Don’t forget that you have sworn before God that you will love and take care of each other until death, or even after death.
As mentioned earlier, the major reason for divorcing couples is the lack of love and trust.
The first thing to do is to have good communication. One of the reasons for the lack of trust is the lack of communication. For example, there will be a situation where you will not be revealing your problem to your partner even though he or she already noticed it. The first thing that will come to his or her mind is that you do not trust her anymore because you are not revealing your problem.
Find ways of starting your communication. Have a discussion each night before retiring to bed. You can talk to your spouse the experiences of the previous day. Let your spouse know that you want him or her to be a part of everything you are passing through particularly on cases when you have problems.
Another is to give ups in some situations. It is one of the top secrets to having a happy and long-term marriage. Both of you should be ready to put your spouse happiness ahead of your own from time to time.
There are cases where small problems become large problems if you want to demonstrate that you are the boss of the relationship. You should learn to give in after all a happy marriage is letting your spouse be happy with your relationship. For example, you can volunteer yourself on washing the plates after dinner. You will see the smile on the face of your wife if you can do such small things for them. Your wife will see you as a caring husband.
Always be careful with your finances. If you fail to handle your financial situation carefully, it may ruin your marriage. When the financial crisis arises, it is essential that both of you should talk about the problem so that both of you aware of the situation you are facing and at the same time finding solutions. Working together on this issue will make each other feel that each of you is an integral part of the decision making process.
There are so many factors that are working on your marriage. Just remember that love and trust will bind you together. Make each other realize that both of you must constantly work on all of these aspects to make sure that your marriage will be blissful and lifelong through the rest of your lives
Six Repair Tools For Your Marriage
Mr. and Mrs. Adelakun were on the verge of divorce. They got married 15 years ago, they had regular verbal fights resulting in what therapists call emotional disengagement meaning that they just disregarded each other for days on end.
Psychologically, they were simmering inside and lonesome for each other, but found it difficult to reach out and communicate these feelings. They were waiting for the other to make the first move to break the invisible wall.
This couple undergoes a common conjugal problem lack of skills to mend emotional damage done to each other. According to conjugal research, nearly all couples fight; what usually prevent the marriage from leading to disasters is the ability to repair the subsequent damage.
Having good repair skills gives the couple the opportunity to recover from the mistakes they may have made. These repair skills offer affix for the harm caused in trying to talk to each other in a way that caused emotional hurt either to one or to both of them.
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It is common for couples to make relationship blunders – after all, anybody can have a terrible day, be under too much stress or failure to apply good judgment in dealing with a situation. Instead of emotionally disengaging from each other or staying with anger, make effort to “fix it” if you are the wrongdoer.
And if you are the innocent, your challenge is to find a way to accept your spouse repair attempt that is, to see your spouse repair attempt as an effort to make things better.
A simple genuine and sincere apology can at times do wonders for a relationship, particularly if your spouse sees you as a person who will not admit they are wrong or at fault.
2. Confide feelings.
Be truthful and share the moods that are under the anger such as fear, humiliation, or anxiety. Your spouse may respond to you quite in a different way if they see those other feelings, rather than just the anger. Revealing what is in your mind and in your heart can make a huge difference in promoting understanding, closeness, and intimacy.
3. Acknowledge your partner’s point of view.
This doesn’t mean you must agree with it; just admit it can reduce anxiety and disagreement because it shows your spouse you are at least listening to them. It also shows understanding the ability to see things from their vantage point instead of only yours.
4. Accept some of the responsibility for the quarrel.
Very few arguments are 100% the mistake of either spouse. Instead, most arguments are like a dance with both of you making move to contribute to the problem. Failure to own up to any blame is a sign of defensiveness rather than the openness needed for good communication.
5. Find common ground.
You should focus on the present issue and what you have in common instead of your differences. For example, you may both agree that raising healthy kids is a common goal even though you disagree with parenting methods.
6. Commit to improving behavior.
I’m sorry doesn’t solve the problem if you continually repeat the offensive behavior. You should back up words with action. Show tangible evidence that you will try to change.
Seek Marriage Help from the Right Sources
If you need marriage help, avoid making the mistake most people do. Don’t speak to a member of the opposite sex about it except that person is functioning in a professional capacity.
For instance, a woman thinks her husband doesn’t give her as much attention. She must not discuss it with a male coworker about the situation even if he believes is a dear friend. If he is sympathetic to her and they grow closer, more marriage problems will surely follow. Depending on the place of work, discussion about the woman’s situation might even be misinterpreted as sexual harassment which is never proper in the workplace.
The right person to talk about marriage help is your spouse. If that just is not possible either because your other half is not ready or because there is a possibility you may harm for trying to discuss your problems and concerns, talk to a trained professional. Visit either a minister or a counselor to discuss your marriage problems. They are trained to look at situations independently and know how to maintain your privacy.
In a situation where you do not know a minister or have a counselor, you can find one discreetly by searching your local phone book. Look through under counseling or marriage counselors to find some to call. Some neighborhood may even have counseling services free of charge for some situations. If you have a close friend you can open your heart to, ask if they know anything about the counselors you find. At work, you can always pull that one of my friends is looking for a counselor. Have you heard of any?
If the advice you receive from the counselor or the minister does not strike a chord with you, go somewhere else. But it doesn’t mean that if the advice is not what you want to hear, to leave it behind, however. When you seek a solution to your marriage problem, you should admit some of the blame may be your own.
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Don’t forget that the first step to solving any marriage problem is to seek help. You and your spouse can visit a counselor together. The counselor may prefer to see you separately after the first meeting with both of you together. If you both of you agree to find marriage help, you will have to accommodate and flexible as you work through your problems and the counseling procedure.