The Important of Marriage Advice
Getting a piece of good advice is very important in every marriage. Unfortunately, during these years, more marriages were destroyed than before. People cannot coexist together in marriage. What are the possible reasons? Why is marriage getting faster, why don’t we get what we want from marriage? Are our hopes wrong? Or is our partner’s choice wrong? Let’s find out.
The main factors that contribute to success in marriage are – Knowing what we want in marriage, choosing the right partner to fulfill those desires, determining the purpose of marriage and getting agreement from them from the couple, discussing all the problems that hurt the relationship, changing your style alone in relating so that marriage becomes stronger and does not easily give up if cracks develop and try to save marriage. A broken marriage is unpleasant for anyone and painful.
Marriage is like a two-wheeled carton. The two partners are wheels. If one wheel becomes weaker or if the wheel size is different, the cart stops moving. This is similar to marriage. If one partner dominates or demands more just for himself, marriage will suffer. In order for a marriage to succeed, partners must take care of each other’s wishes, emotions, physical needs, and intellectual needs. Both partners must support each other to grow and not criticize each other.
For example, if a partner knows that his partner is weak in a particular area, it is the duty of the other partner to compensate for it and not criticize. Another factor is fear of conflict. Sometimes, conflict becomes so painful that partners avoid talking to each other for fear of conflict. Fear of this conflict will kill all communication.
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Instead what is needed is – healthy communication and peaceful conflict resolution with the spirit of giving and receiving. Why should couples be afraid to talk to other couples in marriage? That sounds ridiculous, but this is true. This phase is almost near the death of a marriage. Marriage is a beautiful phase of life. The secret lies in how to continue for a lifetime.
Direct Advice about Marriage that works!
Let’s face it; if you are looking for advice about marriage, you can spend the day researching on the internet without even scratching the surface of all the wedding advice out there.
But the sad fact is, that’s what most people do in your situation to do research but never ACT on the concepts and ideas they learn because they find the reason why THEIR situation is DIFFERENT.
Okay, let me tell you. Your situation is NOT different. And as EXTREME as MY marriage is my situation also NOT different.
So why am I qualified to give you advice about marriage? Because I have witnessed many marriages that filled with fighting, chasing a car and material things.
In fact, I know a couple that you would think they are from a different planet if you compare their habits, values, priorities, and temperaments; that before you take into account the differences in our men/women which brings me to one of the best advice about marriage that I can give you.
1. LEARN 5 LOVE LANGUAGES
When I found a little important advice about marriage, this really opened my eyes to what made my wife happy. Often we hope our partners treat us in a certain way, but we never really tell them what we want from them!
Gary Chapman, the author of the book, The Five Love Languages, makes it easy for you to communicate what you need from your partner to feel loved and what they need from you!
When I know what makes my wife feel loved HIDDEN!
He wants the act of service of all things! I think because I like the words of affirmation that he will also like it!
I hate doing service actions (eg homework, gardening, and repairs) and that’s why I don’t meet their needs!
This reminds you of other good advice about marriage that you need to remember …
Many couples make a big mistake in treating their partners as they HOPE that their partners will treat them!
In other words, strangling your partner with hugs and kisses won’t make him want to hug/kiss you more if what they really need from YOU is a service act like throwing garbage or cleaning the house!
If you want to improve your marriage and make your partner meet your needs, by fulfilling their FIRST, I highly recommend this book. You can find it at http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/gary.html
Now I have never seen anyone talk about the final advice about this marriage, so pay close attention
2. YOU CANNOT INCREASE YOUR MARRIAGE EXCEPT IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT’S FIRST
Many people search for recipes for happy marriages, in search of a simple list of things they can do and then simply check items from their list.
But unfortunately, that is not the way REAL married life works. I can give you a long list of marriage advice that will improve your relationship, but the list will not help you. If you are like most married couples, you will not follow ANYTHING advice about marriage until you feel you want to do it FIRST.
Telling you to do something to improve your marriage will NOT make a difference in your relationship when you hate your partner and feel VERY negative so you can’t even do it!
Trust me; MUCH easier to do something good for your partner when you feel optimistic about your marriage rather than forcing yourself to be the first person to take a step towards a better marriage.
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11 Tips for Marriage Challenges
Many marriages face challenges but can be managed if you have good advice about marriage. I was truly struck by some of the situations that I encountered in almost seven years of holy marriage and if you were not ready, you would run at full speed back to single life. Fortunately, my wife and I love each other enough to unite our families and live happily ever after.
Do you say you want to be happy forever? Well, I am giving you a list of valuable lessons that I have learned over the years. Of course, I can’t really promise you eternal love, but some of these tips will save you from unnecessary suffering, guaranteed.
* To be crowned king/queen twice BEFORE you commit
In other words, it’s much easier to play in the field when you’re single than to get married and decide you want to see lots of other people. It seems like this will be easy to solve, right? Yes, apparently not. Some people don’t realize the big mess they made until it’s too late and they can’t come back from it. Can you say: Allowances, monthly child support payments and second jobs to support yourself? Not to mention a variety of sexually transmitted diseases, some of which are fatal.
* Marry someone who is also your friend.
State to spend the rest of your life with someone who really likes you as a person, not just as a sexual partner. Sometimes, sex will not be there for a short time (pregnancy, illness). If you and your better part like each other, and also love each other, the foundation built on friendship will be more than enough to get you through that difficult time. Apart from that, being the best friend with your partner makes the wedding so much more fun!
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* Don’t put your partner on a pedestal
Everyone makes mistakes, so provide plenty of space for them. If you are looking for a partner and a perfect marriage, you might live in a fantasy world. Simple rules apply to our vows, but we all sometimes act a little human and vow to be the hardest thing in the world to obey. This is already expected, so try not to get too hard on the other half because it doesn’t become holy all the time and you two will be fine.
* Leave the past in the past
Are you still nagging about all the terrible things that happened three years ago? Forget it. Nobody wants to hear remixes about how big they were, especially when you all agreed to finish it and everything went well. If you can’t stop talking about it every five minutes, maybe it’s time to seek counseling. If not, concentrate on good and advanced things.
* Place your spouse and child first
Nobody will send you to a divorce court sooner than drama-in-law. I know you want everyone to get along well, but understand that you are not responsible for the happiness of your mother, father, or sibling. Your main responsibility is to keep your home neat. If your parents and siblings cannot join the program, be prepared to take a break from them until they learn to respect you and your partner. Likewise, if there is something in it that forbids them from doing it, stay true to the person who really matters and it must be you. Finally, if you really want a successful marriage, sometimes you have to learn to love from a distance.
* Never disrespect your home
You already know your family hates your husband/wife, so stop coming to them and talk behind them every time you fight. One, it only makes your family hate your partner more than two, your marriage is on the wrong track if you pour salt on your partner. Also, take care of your home by not letting the wrong people come and go. This is bad for any relationship, getting married or not. Keep the queen/drama king from your house, they just want to start the problem.
* Save marriage advice from someone who is not married to a minimum
Realistically, you may not accept marriage advice from someone who has never been married, just as you may not have to receive childcare advice from someone who does not have children. I know this sounds rather rude, but it makes sense. Will you receive flight instructions from someone who has never attended flight training?
I will not. In my experience, my unmarried friends have never said anything that can help my marriage. (Sorry friends, I know you’ve tried it, but …) Personally, I like to look for advice from an older and experienced partner. There is no better way to prepare for a marriage war than to get guidance from someone who has fought and survived.
* Support the efforts of your husband or wife
Why did you shoot every idea made by your lover? Will it really kill you to support it so much? Realize that people grow and with growth comes change. It is understandable that your partner has outside aspirations to work and pay bills. Is your opposite attitude holding him back from starting that small business? Are you laughing at him from his dream of becoming an actress? Support your mate’s dreams because if it works for them, it will really work for you.
* Take care of your passions!
He used to wear sexy boy shorts when you two were dating, but because you were married and had two children, everything he wore in bed was his great ancestor. He used to say something that flattered you every day, but now he hardly noticed you. This is a common complaint and can wreak havoc in a marriage. Life is busy and we are all tired of our day-to-day business, but remember to spend a little time damaging your partner occasionally. Let them know that you have not forgotten them and you appreciate all their efforts. Show them that you are still the person they love even though life can hinder it. Your partner will surely return the favor.
* Frequent communication
Talk to your partner every day about something other than children, home, and bills. Even if you don’t spend a lot of time at home together, the cellphone will solve the problem. Make sure you have time for yourself; go on dates occasionally or just curl up on the couch and talk about constructive things. In my opinion, communication is the key to a successful marriage. Who wants to spend the rest of his life with someone who won’t even talk? Who wants to have a dispute, but can’t discuss it intelligently? I’m a fan of heated discussion. At least we communicate; do not enter the room, slam the door and boil for hours. Let’s spend, finish, and makeup. And who doesn’t like to make up? Wink.
Do not forget to:
Pray every day for your marriage, your home, and your children. Prayer can bring certainty and relieve your mind when things get messed up. Do you know what will be better? Pray together. You already know the saying, the family who prays together, lives together!