Unhappy Marriage: How to Know When It Really Ends
That’s a fact. There are many people who feel unhappy in their marriage. But the real question that many ask them is, how do I know when my marriage really ended?
Is it when your partner says, “I don’t love you anymore?” Is that after the affair happened? How do you REALLY know? Keep reading to find out how to identify warning signs that often show your partner has given up on your marriage.
First and foremost: Has your partner reached Points Without Returning?
What is the use of No Return in marriage? Is there something like that? After working with a partner for more than 6 years, I have identified the particular “path” that the couple traveled on the road to divorce. And at the end of this road is what I call … Point without Return.
But I’m too fast … let me step back for a while.
In most cases, your marriage does NOT end when:
– Your partner moves
– When your partner says famously, “I love you, but I no longer love you”
– When your partner threatens you with divorce
And believe me or not, in some cases, your marriage is NOT even when … your partner submits a divorce.
Your marriage does NOT end when your partner begs, begs, debates, yells, goes out of the house or turns the whole family against you.
On the contrary, The Point of No Return in marriage IS confirmed when your partner sees you as if he or she is dead.
There is no life in your partner’s voice and there is no life in his eyes. Your partner is not angry with you. He only tells you when divorce papers will be served. He had gone to the courthouse, found a lawyer and had a service date set for the divorce process.
Your marriage is most likely to end when your partner has made a complete list of assets and debts with both of your names on them. He or she has decided on a storage plan and cleared all the bank accounts with their names and yours and closed all the credit cards that you shared.
He or She has reached The Point of No Return when he already knew that the court needed a waiting time of 120 days and he emotionally locked himself in a place to wait long.
You have THROUGH “unhappy marriages” when your partner has talked to children many times about divorce and they are now afraid, angry, hurt, confused or emotionally closed.
It’s possible that your marriage will end when your partner doesn’t care about your children’s feelings about it. He only acts for his own survival at this time and he has repeatedly convinced himself that “Children are good, they will be fine.” He might even say that to friends and relatives.
This is a REAL Point without Returns. I have found that when your partner has reached Point of No Return, no one can save your marriage at this time. Not a pastor, pastor or marriage counselor.
So how did this happen?
Marriage reaches this point because we live in a society that believes that once you get married, there is nothing you need to learn about marriage and nothing, you need to practice.
All you need is love.
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If you don’t have love, then it’s your entire responsibility that your marriage is unsuccessful. Because of this belief, you continue to do what you always do … your love version.
You treat your partner the same way your father treats your mother … or vice versa. You keep doing the same thing and keep getting the same results.
Your partner cannot help you to help him. No matter how many times he tells you how to meet his needs, you can’t hear … You just can’t understand.
How do I know this?
I know that because every divorce is built on the same system. When your emotional needs are not met in marriage, anywhere from 1-3 situations listed below will begin to occur in your marriage.
Because you know almost nothing about how to get married and how to support each other’s needs, you have no way to stop this problem from happening:
– Sex failure
– Communication is interrupted
– Not Loyalty
– In-laws problems
– Growing apart
– Fall in love
– Mixed family problems
– rude attitude
– Angry couple
– There is no romance
– Ignore me
– Financial Problem
– Children’s problems
– avoid me
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If your partner has not passed the Point of No Return, you can still save your marriage; there is still hope for both of you. But urgent step needs to be taken to improve your unhappy marriage. Believe me, I get an e-mail every day with stories about marriages that turn out to be the worst in a week.
17 Signs You Are in an Unhappy Marriage
Planning to leave the marriage is frightening: Usually, there is a profound fear of being alone, not to mention the possibility of an unknown future. So many sticks with mediocrity, satisfied with low-level pain and dissatisfaction instead.
But that’s not your best bet: “Staying in a truly unhappy marriage can have long-term effects on our mental and emotional health” said Carrie Cole, partner therapist and Gottman Certified Expert Expert from the Gottman Institute. Study confirms that people in bad marriages generally have low self-esteem, struggle with anxiety and depression, and have higher rates of illness than those who don’t. People feel sad and grieving when they decide to let go – but divorced people recover emotionally, and Cole says most find new relationships.
If there are signs that hit the house for you, it’s time to see if this is the marriage you want to live in.
1. You Don’t Have Sex Again
2. You Can’t Say Anything
3. You are with each other … but not really with each other
4. You Actively Ignore Your Intestine
5. You are busy with the Needs and Problems of Others
6. Distance Between You Continues to Grow to Get Help
7. You fantasize about life without your partner
8. You Stop Fighting
9. You Have One or More Destroyers of Great Relationships
10. You Don’t Feel Heard (and You Might Not Listen)
11. You Are in the Threshold of Having Emotional Infidelity
12. You Go to Your Friend, Not Your Partner
13. You Don’t Like Spending Quality Time Together
14. Date Nights Is Something of the Past
15. You Are No Priority for Each Other Again
16. You Feel Controlled
17. Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Get Help or Work at Relationships
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I think it’s very important for people to realize that there are very few things that cannot be done in a relationship, and even repaired and resolved. But if a partner doesn’t want to try to improve your relationship, that’s a sign of a clear problem. However, working in a relationship requires two participants who are willing. That means both partners must be open to seeing their own items.
Do You Consider a Second Marriage?
Before making another step in remarried, are you ready to experience the consequences of unhappy marriage in living with someone again?
First, you must review the performance that you made in your first marriage. The questions to ask yourself, how can I be a good partner? Why does our union end in divorce? What is wrong? What limitation do I still need to build up? Why do I experience an unhappy marriage? There are still many questions in your first marriage. So, you must be able to answer all questions without end before thinking of remarriage.
Second, know what you are really looking for in a partner. Make sure the character you want so that you will not experience an unhappy marriage again. Don’t force yourself to calm down just because you are lonely and really need friends. Finally, let the time answer your question. Enjoy your freedom, at least for a moment and give yourself plenty of time in finding your potential partner before you say I do it again.
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In entering another chapter of your life, a second marriage is a very challenging obligation for you. Many different things will change in your daily life when you finally decide to remarry. Your freedom will be lost again. You must be prepared for the new responsibilities that you will take and how you do it with readiness.
To marry the second time, there are many things to consider to make it a success. There are many situations that you must fully understand to avoid unhappy marriage with your new partner. These are as follows:
HOPE FOR HEALTH CARE
At the beginning of the second marriage, the problem will not occur instantly. For new partners, you enjoy the love you just discovered. However, too much hope might arise when one is too demanding of the other. This can be corrected if you can find out what your limitations are and what you can only do.
REALISTIC LOVE APPROACH
This can be the best thing that ever happened to a second marriage. Love must develop unconditionally with respect. Give and receive – this is to let go of the same feeling.
POSITIVE ATTITUDES AND PROSPECTS IN LIFE
This may not be perfect at all, but happy with what you have. Don’t force yourself to give only to ensure happiness in your partner. You must compete with your partner’s abilities and abilities. Encourage your partner to give the best in other ways.
COMMUNICATING ABOUT FEELINGS
You must be open to what you really feel. Have time to talk. This can help keep the flame alive. Listen to your partner. In listening to you get what he wants to connect.
UNDERSTAND AND RECEIVE DIFFERENCES
You might not be able to do everything, there are no costs for any problems. Understanding and accepting weaknesses is part of marriage. Humans are not perfect, so they intend to do the wrong thing. You have to respect the little things he made.
MAKE DECISIONS AND ADJUST ARGUMENTS
This situation is very important. It can make or a break. In making a decision, you have to tell what you think. Maybe, accept your partner’s opinion. Finish your argument in time. Arguments are truly minded busters. This can create a gap in the relationship.
GENERAL SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION AND OBJECTIVES
It might be good if you both believe in the same religious doctrine. It can avoid the debate about true beliefs. A perfect family dream is one of the common goals. This can be done if both are very cooperative and serious. That can be a good foundation in the years to come. This can be a guiding force in making a successful relationship.
COMBINING THE FAMILY
What if your new partner has children or children in a previous marriage? You must know at least parenting skills. You are dealing with their new environmental emotions. Be kind to them because they are also important to your partner’s life. Accept them when you accept your partner. Make them also one of your top priorities.
In giving your life to someone again, make sure you are really serious and ready. Sacrifice and true love must be on your agenda because marriage is not taken for granted. So you could say, may your second marriage be successful and fruitful.
We must learn to respect humans and put aside our selfish desires for some time. We must think about the destruction that occurs because of frequent marriage and divorce. Developing a mind to care for one another can certainly help in making a marriage longer. No one ever prays for an unhappy marriage. Make every effort to turn your unhappy marriage to a happy ONE. Best wishes and good luck.